Roses are red, bruises are black and blue…

Today I wanted to mention a company and a product I spotted some time ago in the back of Bizarre magazine (Oh, how I love Bizarre…); The English Leather Rose Company.

According to their site, they started out on a Narrowboat! Growing roses on a Narrowboat, is apparently, not doable! So the creator set about devising an alternative. If you want to read all about their history, it’s available here.

To the left is what the ELR Co. call their Erotica rose from their Gothic Collection – my personal favorite rose.

Between the timeless contrast of vivid, passionate red with the strict darkness of black and the gentle spikeyness of the rose’s aesthetic, I couldn’t help but be drawn to it.

For the kinky amongst us, two roses in particular stand out in the collection.

The first of the two is the Fetish Rose. Described as being “for a different kind of love”, the Fetish Rose comes in four different colour designs – pure red, red/black mix, rich purple and pure black.

What really sets these roses apart from the other roses at The English Leather Rose Co. is the addition of real barbed wire! Symbolising the painful pleasures to be found in fetish romances, play and scenes, the barbed wire halo is wound downwards and bound into the black leather stem.

It should go without saying that as these roses have very real, very pointy, barbed wire attached, they’re strictly for ornamental use and should be kept and displayed somewhere away from where little hands could grab them!

The other thing you do need to keep in mind about this particular rose design is that barbed wire is not easy for the creator Louise to work with, so at particular times they might not be available (i.e. right before Valentines) and in general it might be a good idea to give her a good bit of notice and allow yourself a little longer, just in case. ;)

Finally, the BDSM rose really struck me. I know so many people who would just fall in love with this. Black and Blue (geddit?) with a black stem and leaves.

The colours featured symbolise a variety of aspects found within BDSM relationships, and the rose is available with or without the fetish adornment of the barbed wire halo. Divine!

I haven’t yet had the luxury of owning a leather rose, but some day I will! I’d definately recommend checking out Louise’s site at The English Leather Rose Company, and following her on twitter!

PS – anyone want to get me one? ;)

Where I’ve Been…

Nowhere especially, is the short answer. But between stressing about flat/house viewings, tenancy applications and insurance quotes, things have been more than a little hectic. My stress levels are through the roof and that’s more than a little offputting.

The main thing sending my anxiety stratospheric is the whole house move malarky. We have just under 4 weeks left on this contract, and ideally want to leave before that – if nothing else, it makes moving easier. We still have no place to move to. We have the problematic situation of being mature students with monthly income – apparently, that’s just no good… there are the agents who outright won’t even speak to us, and then there are those who take our applications but pick DSS candidates over us as it’s guaranteed rent payment. Things feel very hard right now.

Then, there is the job stuff. Stuff being my lack of one. I really need some income of my own, and we need more cash as a unit generally. To live right now has led to debts going right up – which is exactly the sort of thing that gets to me, so that’s hard to handle too. I have a lot of applications in for posts at the moment though – so I’m allowing myself to be at least a tiny bit hopeful.

Finally, there’s Uni. I don’t know how I feel about it right now, and no-one seems to quite understand my point. Well, some do, to an extent at least. But.. Essentially I’m meant to be moving course soon, and starting at year 1 again. I’m 6.5k down in terms of student debt, and no further forward. Add the credit card and overdraft to that and it isn’t nice. And my new course might be better, but I find it hard to know – it’s not something I’ve ever studied before, so maybe it’s just another gamble that probably won’t even pay off.

But right now it’s the first time I’ve known so many to be proud of me. And I don’t want to let anyone down, so I have to find a way.

But that’s mostly why I’ve been quiet. My mojo’s been a bit… screwed, recently. It’s been hard to write or think or test, And I feel guilty about that. I’m sure I’ll be back on fighting form soon.

BDSM and Me: A 15 Part Series…

So, I got to thinking a few nights ago that I’d like to partake in a series of posts about my kinkier side and what it’s about for me etc… 

I had a mooch around to see if there were any decent (and appropriate) memes or prompts to little avail, so I put one together. The individual questions were from other places though, some reworded, and many from fetishmeme.com.

I intend on editing this post to update with the links for the posts as and when they’re done :)

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1. What role(s) do you fit into within BDSM? If more than one, do you see one as your “primary” role?

2. Would you sacrifice your kinks and fetishes if you could have only conventional sexual needs?

3. Are you comfortable in engaging in BDSM play with more than one person at a time in your life?

4. Your thoughts on BDSM clothing: fun, too many stereotypes, too expensive, too uncomfortable, boring?

5. What would you say have been (if any) mass and pop culture influences on your BDSM expectations, performance and desires?

6. In BDSM do you have needs and desires that you feel are wrong or immoral?

7. How do conventional physical sexual hungers fit into BDSM play for you?

8. Has your sexuality shifted over time, are there ways in which you wish you could modify your desires, needs?

9. Which BDSM writers and websites have been valuable for you or given you pleasure?

10. Have you ever let a Dominant push you into doing something you didn’t want to do?

11. Have you ever been exposed as a sadist, masochist/submissive, or Dominant person? Have your kinks and fetishes become public knowledge against your will?

12. Pervertables: (A common household item, bargain from a shop or DIY project that you pervert for kinky fun) – do you have any and if so, what?

13. Can fetishes and BDSM acts be separated from male and female sexual identity?

14. How do you feel online D/s and kink play compares to real-world BDSM? Are they comparable?

15. What’s your most longed-for experience?

BDSM and Me – Part 1: Roles

Today I’m answering the first question from the series I’m currently partaking in; BDSM and Me. 

What role(s) do you fit into within BDSM? If more than one, do you see one as your “primary” role? I have always, since I first stumbled into kink, identified as a submissive. 

Even in my pre kink days, I’d always seek to be in the submissive role within sex, to be the person being told what to do, the fucked rather than the one in charge doing the fucking. Some people who know my kinky leanings are surprised as I can be quite bold in everyday life, and often take charge of situations; for me I wonder if it acts as a release or form of relaxation, to be told what to do and relinquish all control. 

These days my submissive side is a little more certain than it used to be, and it’s developed in many ways. From the little girl I was at 17 and the instinctive, almost primal responses I gave to those early spanks and wrist binds in rock clubs, to the sub I am now and the kinks I know I have now.

I’ve faced interesting dilemmas, especially recently, such as having a partner who is kinky, but not nearly to the same extent I am. It’s probably only comparitively recently that I’ve realised I probably qualify as a bit of a masochist too, in that pain – in mild to moderate quantities – is really, really hot. 

I still say “mild-moderate” even though I’m the first person to say I don’t believe something so innately subjective as pain can be quantified, because It’s what, on my scale, is mild to moderate. 

On someone else’s scale it would probably hurt like hell, and equally I could likely name a few friends who would laugh in the face of what I currently find to be nearing my limits! I think that covers most elements of how I identify right now within BDSM and kink, but if you want to ask any questions feel free to comment here or fire away on my Formspring (you don’t need to register). 

Likewise, follow me on Twitter and Facebook for regular updates and more of my wittering!

Review: Ann Summers “Passion” Massage Lotion

R and I bought this massage oil quite a while ago when we were looking for a massage oil or bar as I’d been suffering from a painful back and shoulders(and still do, unfortunately).

R is an absolute gem for working so hard to try and get my back into a liveable condition so often, and had been trying to work on it a little but with no oils, to little avail. We set out, and figured Ann Summers was probably the most logical place to check out on our little mission, so headed to the high street. In Ann Summers, we found a range of oils.

After sniffing the Lust and Love oils, and finding them not to our taste, we picked up the tester bottle of Passion oil, and immediately knew that was the one for us. Having bought it (£8 for a 150ml bottle), we headed home.

A closer look at the gorgeous, retro-styled label found that it claimed to be “lickable”. Now, I am sure a great deal of attention was paid to ensuring that all the ingredients of this lotion were totally consumption-safe, but for the sake of your taste buds, I would strongly advise against it. It might smell divine, and while some of the notes from the fragrance do make it through in taste, there is an overwhelming bitter note that just makes the licker gag. (If that licker is me, anyway…)

The things we loved about it, however,way outnumber the sour taste. It’s not especially sticky once it’s been rubbed in, so going to sleep without showering it off wasn’t unpleasant. As mentioned before, the smell is gorgeous, really tropical and refreshing, and a smell I’m happy to have dominate our boudoir!

Lastly, the warming effect is nice when it’s being used for massage to help sore bodies, as it seems to stimulate in a lot of the same ways the massage itself does. All in all, a massage oil we turn to time and time again, and will keep buying. Buy it at Ann Summers

BDSM and Me – Part 2: Giving Up?

Today I’m answering the second in a fifteen part series of questions I blogged about here. 

Would you sacrifice your kinks and fetishes if you could have only conventional sexual needs? I think one important thing to look at in this question is the recognition of kink and fetish as a part of sexual need, often as much as sex itself. I feel this is often misunderstood in itself. 

I have heard some people classify something as a fetish only when it is needed for any sexual pleasure, or that a kink or fetish can only be qualified as a need when it is integral to getting off at all. For me, a good plain fucking can be really satisfying. 

There are days when that is brilliant. But for me they aren’t enough on their own, over the long term. It’s not been a short process though, to get myself to the point that I can recognise it is a real, valid need within myself, and is as significant as my sex drive – I tend to liken it to a ‘kink drive’. For a long time I saw it as something I’d had brief involvements with and liked, but if I got it, I got it and if not that was okay. 

I think a lot of that was attributed to the fact that (roughly at the same time) I had one relationship that was very kink-heavy, but a complete mindfuck and very bad for me, and one that was… well actually, he was as bad for me as she was… but the (vanilla) sex was very good… 

So for a long time I think I began to equate BDSM in my own mind with excuses to treat me like shit. Eventually of course I broke that link, after realising that ‘nilla partners had also behaved really poorly towards me, and also that the kink does not define the person or the behaviour. It’s hard to answer a question that is by it’s nature, so hypothetical, but I don’t think I would. 

At least not entirely. Maybe a lower kink drive (and sex drive I guess) – hell if we’re wishing for things I’ll wish for R’s to increase! That makes more sense! Returning to the question, no I don’t think I would sacrifice my kinks and fetishes to have only conventional sexual needs and desires, as they are too much a part of who I identify as being now.

Review: Ann Summers Rampant Rabbit G-Pulse

The deliciously sexy guys and girls at Ann Summers were kind enough to send me the Rampant Rabbit G-Pulse a little while ago and in the crazy haze of house moves, I only just found the time to give it a whirl yesterday! Obscene I know.

On first look, it’s a bright (really, really bright) pink, with a slightly squishy yet full shaft, with that tell-tale g-spot angled curve at the head. It needs four AAA batteries to get going (inserted in the base) and has a simple two-button operation. It’s fairly average length, at 6.7″ (less insertable) but with a 4.9″ girth,it’s certainly noticable!

I don’t know if I’d agree with the statement that it’s “whisper quiet”, but it is quieter than many other rabbits, mostly because the racket they normally create is down to the rotating shaft. It’s worth noting it’s not waterproof, so don’t take it in the shower, and it’s worth paying attention when cleaning it to not get water in the battery compartment. Aside from the curved shaft, it differs from typical rabbits in the sense that it doesn’t have the normal rotating, swirling shaft, instead plumping for vibration right the way to the tip.

Given its purpose (g-spot stimulation), to me this makes a lot of sense. It actually contains four vibrating bullets, so the vibrations can be felt throughout the toy, which is a pleasure in the truest meaning of the word, as with so many vibes the bullet, situated at the bottom of the shaft, just don’t make it to the tip.

The operation was also new to me; most rabbits have seperate controls for the rabbit and shaft these days, and as I mentioned before, it’s common to have a buzzing bunny with a rotating shaft. In this vibe, just two buttons are the key to all the five speeds and patterns.

From what I could tell, the speed settings alternate between the different bullets at different paces, though for me the most effective was the first setting when it is switched on, where each are cycled through at a moderate pace. I found the shaft a little too thick for me to get especially good g-spot stimulation for me.

I have found previously that I seem to need a slightly slimmer shaft to allow for the angle of the g-spot head. Saying that though, it did have enough “squish” to allow for it to fit without any discomfort or problems. The buzz of the bunny ears was where this rabbit really rocked for me though.

I don’t know if it’s down to the specific bullet type used in this model or if it was because the clitoral stimulation effectively stopped and started due to the patterns, but that was what really got me off. For the bunny ears alone, I’ll definitely be returning to this vibe again. It’s available to buy at Ann Summers.

Stop Judging My Shaven Pussy

Yeah, really. While we’re on the subject, stop judging me for shaving it, and stop judging my partner and exes for liking it. 

Seeing people say that the only men who’d like a shaven pussy are paedophiles, or ‘twisted’, and that the only reason women shave is to please men (or some folk are really kind and provide a second option of some kind of childhood trauma)… well, it makes me one angry girlie. I’ve seen posts on otherwise forward-thinking sites by people I would otherwise consider to be open minded folk… 

All slamming the girls who shave and the guys (or girls) who love shaven girls. I shave. Big deal? I shave because I want to, for me. The fact R likes it is secondary. I first started shaving at about 16 or 17, and the reason? Not because a boyfriend told me I should, or peer pressure that I ought to… But having read that some women find it can increase sensitivity. 

I’m not suggesting it always does, by the way. My sensitivity wasn’t a problem – I was able to climax fine, and got a lot of pleasure anyway. But I find it hard to resist trying something that so many others have cited as feeling so damned good. So I did. And after finding I prefer the feel of my shaven pussy, I continued. For me it does increase sensitivity. 

I enjoy stroking myself more. I like feeling slick with juices on a hairless pussy, and that’s all personal choice. What annoys me really is that I don’t insult other folks’ choice of lady garden topiary, much less do I insult others and call them incredibly offensive names for enjoying the pubic styles they do. 

It’s all good. How about we all wear our styles however we want, and fuck people who like it, and be happy? And stop picking on other peoples’ choice.